I am learning to make my writing more interesting for the reader. I know I will be able to do this when I add more detail, interesting words and include what I see, hear, smell and feel.
It was the holidays, the amazing holidays.
It all started on Sunday. Dad and I went to get Shilah. We were taking her to the movies with us. Dad was talking to Belinda while Shilah and I played on the trampoline. We jumped in the car and drove into town to the movie theatre. We arrived at 11:00am and we were going to see ‘Secret life of pets’.
The movie was 3D. Shilah and I had kid 3D glasses, Dad had adult 3D glasses. The movie went for two hours. As we watched ‘Secret life of pets’ we nearly cried because it was so funny. Chloe the cat went into the fridge and ate the chicken and the cake. The cat was a fat cat. A poodle put on music on the stereo, the cats and dogs behind the couch jumped up and down. There was a evil bunny, that hates people and a girl who wants the evil bunny. Then he becomes a nice bunny. It was so funny everyone should see it. Shilah, Dad and I sat in the middle of the movie theatre.
The movie was loud. Later on Shilah and I sat at the front for a bit before we went back to our seat with Dad. There was only the three of us and a few other people in the theatre so we could sit anywhere.
Dad was able to lean his arm over me to help himself to popcorn, skittles, m&ms and drink. Next time would like Brooklyn to come. She is my other friend.
Before we left the room we had to return our 3D glasses we had used to watch the movie.
We climbed into the car and drove to Shilah’s house to drop her off.
I said. “ Goodbye.”
Dad took me home. I said goodbye to Dad and told him I couldn’t wait to see him again.
This was the perfect day.
Hi shanika I like how you added what you ate, who you were with and what you were watching. You could add more detail about how you went to the front row and back.
ReplyDeleteHi Shanika. l like the way you made it interesting but you could add some detail.
ReplyDelete