Monday, 24 October 2016

Responding to feedback

It was the holidays, this was going to be an  amazing holiday.  
All of a sudden woke up. It was Sunday,  my dad was coming to pick me up. When he arrived we went to get Shilah. She was looking out the window. She started waving to me. Shilah came outside with her Mum and said “Hi.  I haven’t seen you for awhile.”
Dad was talking to Belinda and having a drink of water while Shilah and I played on the trampoline. Then we  went to  Shilah’s room so she could change her shirt. We talked about the movie we were going to, we were so excited. We were ready now so
Dad could take us to the movies. We jumped in the car and drove into town to the movie theatre. We arrived at 11:00am and we were going to see Secret lives of pets.

The movie was 3D. Shilah and I had kid 3D glasses, Dad had adult 3D glasses. We sat in the middle of the movie theatre. The movie  went for two hours and was loud. I enjoyed every minute. As we watched ‘Secret  life of pets’ we nearly cried because it was so funny. Chloe the cat went into the fridge and ate the chicken and the cake. The cat was a fat cat. A poodle put on music on the stereo, the cats and dogs behind the couch jumped up and down.  There was a evil bunny that hates people and a girl who wants the evil bunny.  Then he becomes a nice bunny. It was so funny I think everyone should see it.

Later on Shilah and I walked to the front to see what it was like close to the screen. There was only the three of us and a few other people in the theatre so we could sit anywhere. We liked it up close but then we went back to our seats with Dad to have some more popcorn.  Dad leaned his arm over me to help himself to popcorn, skittles, m&ms and drink. Next time I would like Brooklyn to come. She is my other friend.

Before we left the theatre we had to return our 3D glasses we had used to watch the movie.
Then we  climbed into the car and drove to Shilah’s house to drop her off.
I said. “ Goodbye.”  Then Dad took me home.  I said goodbye to Dad and told him I couldn’t wait to see him again

This is the perfect day. I wish that I had this every weekend.

Friday, 14 October 2016

Dice in the corner

The Perfect Day


I am learning to make my writing more interesting for the reader. I know I will be able to do this when I add more detail, interesting words and include what I see, hear, smell and feel.

It was the holidays, the  amazing holidays.  
It all started on Sunday. Dad and I went to get Shilah. We were taking her to the movies with us. Dad was talking to Belinda while Shilah and I played on the trampoline. We jumped in the car and drove into town to the movie theatre. We arrived at 11:00am and we were going to see ‘Secret life of pets’.

The movie was 3D. Shilah and I had kid 3D glasses, Dad had adult 3D glasses. The movie went for two hours. As we watched ‘Secret  life of pets’ we nearly cried because it was so funny. Chloe the cat went into the fridge and ate the chicken and the cake. The cat was a fat cat. A poodle put on music on the stereo, the cats and dogs behind the couch jumped up and down.  There was a evil bunny, that hates people and a girl who wants the evil bunny.  Then he becomes a nice bunny. It was so funny everyone should see it. Shilah, Dad and I sat in the middle of the movie theatre.

The movie was loud.  Later on Shilah and I sat at the front for a bit before we went back to our seat with Dad. There was only the three of us and a few other people in the theatre so we could sit anywhere.  

Dad was able to lean his arm over me to help himself to popcorn, skittles, m&ms and drink. Next time would like Brooklyn to come. She is my other friend.

Before we left the room we had to return our 3D glasses we had used to watch the movie.
We  climbed into the car and drove to Shilah’s house to drop her off.
I said. “ Goodbye.”  
Dad took me home.  I said goodbye to Dad and told him I couldn’t wait to see him again.   

This was the perfect day.